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If the year were a day... with each month being two hours... it would now be 5PM. Things are winding down. September 1st marks the start of the home stretch!
Crunchy dry leaves are already appearing on the sidewalks. Where are they coming from? The trees are still gree... hrmmmm?... no, acutally some trees are starting to turn! When did that happen?
Don't worry, it's a slow process, and you'll still have the crickets all month.
But, there are only four months left of the year now... and nobody gets anything done in December!
So it's time to get your ass back out there and bring this year's plans to fruition... or, if they never really got off the ground, then this is the time to salvage what you can.
Neither of those may be easy, when it can still hit 90, in the first week or two of September, but you must tough it out!.. because it's a guarantee that by the end of the month, you'll be wearing a hoody!
Sunrise times are about to take a steep dive. And sunsets will creep in earlier & earlier, as both rush to even out the day and night hours on the 21st.
It'll be in that final nine days of September... after the equinox... that you'll really start to feel the year slipping away!.. because the nights will suddenly be longer than the days... and growing moreso.
Okay, I managed to get up on time and was outside with Yvette and Snoop by 11:07AM.
No sign of Prowly. Didn't see him last night either. Haven't seen him since... Wendesday night?
Hopefully he's okay. I will be home for three days after tonight, so if he's around, I'll see him sooner or later.
At any rate, three of us hung out in back... enjoying the mild 74F, sunny morning with slight breezes.
I sat there thinking how lovely it would be if the weekend were like today, but the forecast is still saying 90 all three days!
But now I've decided I just have to tough it out and get that damn hatch door on the house and working, no matter how hot it is!
Because it's not supposed to cool back down for next weekend, and I can't be fucking around for half the month with this thing half done!
But at any rate, I moved money from saving into my checking account while I was sitting outside, and then Zelled money into Dad's account to cover the mortgage auto deduct.
After that, still outside, I made my car payment.
Once we were back inside, I flipped the plywood over, on the porch, and gave the top side of the hatch door it's second coat of paint.
It's drying, with the fan on it, as I write.
Then I sat down and paid AmEx and Discover... there was a small balance on Discover this time around... and even paid $200.00 toward the balance on Wells Fargo, because I have that new $700.00 balance from the lawyer, on the PenFed card.
I may have to do minimums, or near minimums on both WF, and PF, for a while, so I want to get the WF balance down a bit.
And then I went to pay PenFed, but... their app still SUCKS!
They don't let you get in there to make a payment without first texting an authentication code. But when I had it do that... no fucking text came!
So I tried on the PC, but no fucking text came.
Then I tried again on the app, but... no fucking text came!
So I shut it all down to deal with it later, and start this entry... and after five more minutes went by... all three PenFed authentication codes came through!
Literally so much later that it would've timed out anyway on their app!
So... I'm gonna give that another go tonight, but no payment's due yet anyway. I just wanted to get it paid early.
I still have to pay off Home Depot, and then double check online to make sure all the bills really did their autopays to AmEx. But I think they did, because the AmEx balance was over $500.00 this time around... which is more than normal.
That's because many of these bills don't come due on the same date every month, and some skip a month, randomly.
But I always pay AmEx on the 1st, so... sometimes that's the day before three other bills hit, and sometimes it's two weeks after a bunch have hit, or whatever.
That's why using the AmEx as a catch-all is so goddam convenient!
Okay, just paid off Home Depot.
That was high this time... over $200.00!
I guess that was because of the HD2.0 project... expensive plywood, expensive paint... 4" PVC fittings, etc.
Okay, so everybody's paid, except for PenFed, and I need to do the routine double check, but... pretty good for the morning of the first of the month!
So, here at the start of September, I've got less than $9000.00 left in savings from the PNC loan, but I am back to full time.
So, as planned, I can make it to the end of 2023, living as I have been all year. But if I did nothing... I'd start 2024 with no more cushion, and still four years left paying on that loan!
But the plan is to secure some kind of bigger loan against the house, to pay off that PNC loan, pay off BMO, and leave me with some kind of cushion, and one manageable house payment that'll be less than I've been paying this year, on two mortgages and a home improvement loan.
In order to secure said home loan, I'm waiting until September 15th, when I've been with GeoStaff for a full year.
So... if I can pull that off, then I should be fine for 2024, and my big focus will be on increasing my income, before that cushion runs out.
Recall that back in April, when I got the PNC loan, the plan was to increase my income this year!
But that plan was derailed by two things;
- Hot ass working conditions that forced me back to part time for the summer.
- Unforeseen $13,000.00 balloon payment on the zombie HELOC.
The first setback decreased my income. The second one has incurred a fairly large retainer fee for a lawyer.
And I also had the third thing, which was the failure of the basement hatch door... which hasn't been that expsensive... but it's nonetheless an unplanned emergency repair that's taken a lot of time and money to deal with.
It's an emergency because outside access to the basement is critical... not just for getting the fuse boxes replaced with breakers, but for any other repair that might come along like the water heater, or the furnace, etc.
And I also need that access to do almost any other repair on the house, as that's where I bring materials and supplies into the shop, and prefabbed objects like the proposed storm windows, back out.
Still, a lot of other critical fixes were done this year that won't be standing in my way next year... mostly in the back yard.
And a lot of things were purchased this year I won't have to buy again, like the hose reel and hoses, the wood chipper, and several other tools.
The only luxury spending I did was on the recording studio... unless you count the firepit as a luxury.
The firepit, at least, has the utility of burning unwanted yard waste.
The studio is purely a luxury. It's not critical for survival, it has no useful function for maintaning the house or the yard, and it won't pay for itself down the line.
But, it's value to me lies in giving me something to do when and if I am living on a shoestring down the line.
Once it's up and running... it won't cost any money to record songs and produce albums... and I'll be able to use it for years to come.
One of the home loan options I've been thinking about the past few days is a reverse mortgage.
Kevin specializes in these types of mortgages... where the bank pays you money every month for the rest of your life, but then takes the house when you die.
That wouldn't be a bad way to go, if I could qualify for one... though I may be too young for one?
But a reverse mortgage would eliminate the possibility of my handing this house off to somebody else in the family upon my death.
And that'd be a shame, because this house has been in the family for five generations, since it's construction by my 2G grandfather.
However, just over the past seven months since I took ownership of the old boat, it's become pretty clear that there won't be anybody to hand it off to anyway.
The only hope would be one of my neices or nephews, or one of their children.
But none of my neices and nephews live in Aurora... none of them have any plans to do so in the future... and only one of them, Veda, is having any children.
It's possible some of Tim's younger kids may go on to have children, but... it seems almost unthinkable that any of these grand nephews or neices would have any interest in owning or living in this house.
Basically... you can only love this house if you grew up in it, or spent a LOT of time here as a child... and none of them really have.
Dylan and Celina did (Brian & Colleen's oldest kids, respectively) but Dylan's in LA, and never coming back, and Celina's marrying a doctor on the east coast and will very likely gravitate to NYC in the end.
Veda is sentimental about the house... because she did spend some time here as a kid too... but she and Josh live in Las Vegas, and would likely never transplant to the comparatively boring, Aurora, Illinois.
Max, Brian's other son, does live in DeKalb... and so could conceivably see living in this house in Aurora as a nice way to go... similar to myself... but it's very unclear whether he will ever even hold a job... much less learn the skills necessary to maintain a house of this age.
At this point in it's story... you DO have to be a handyman to survive here!
So... I may well be the Last of the Mohichans, so does speak.
And if I am... then I'd be kinda crazy NOT to do a reverse mortgage, and live out my days happily fixing the place up for myself... and writing it's story... and leaving that book hidden in a wall or something... for whoever the bank sells it to after I'm dead.
Okay, well, at any rate, I'm on top of the September bills, and I have some kind of a plan in the works to survive 2024.
As for this weekend... as I said above, I do plan to get that damn hatch door installed, even if I have to sweat and suffer in the heat to do it!
In a little while, it'll be time to head out to Cloud for my Friday at work.
I'll talk to you when I get back.
Prowly appeared outside tonight, halfway through my walk with Yvette, after getting home from work.
So, both cats are present and accounted for, and Prowly just ate some cat food in the kitchen.
Work went fine tonight, and now I'm done with the first full week of the normal school year routine.
Wish I could say I was thrilled to have a three day weekend in front of me, but... it's gonna be 90F for the next EIGHT days, give or take a couple degrees!
SAT 87, SUN 91, MON 94, TUE 91, WED 89, THU 87, FRI 85, SAT 86, SUN 86.
It doesn't go back down to 80F until Monday the goddam 11th!
So, this is why I have to just suffer through the heat and get the hatch door done this weekend, because next weekend won't be any better, and I'm NOT waiting until the goddam 16th of September to maybe do this!
But I've been pissed off about this all day!
I feel like Jesus in JC Superstar... "I... only want to say... if there IS a way... take this cup AWAY from me!.."
However, on the financial front... on this first day of the month... there was some good news!
I got a notification from Experian that my FICO score (according to them) jumped up NINE points today!.. from 751, to 760!
And this was solely because I paid $200.00 toward that thousand dollar balance on the Wells Fargo card!
Recall that I've had that $1000.00 dollar balance for a few months now and have only been paying a little above the minimum on it... because I thought that would help my credit score.
But apparently a thousand is too much to leave laying around on a card.
That plan would probably work better if it was just a hundred dollar balance that I was paying the minimum on forever.
At any rate, it's perfect timing, as I'm planning to apply for a home loan later this month!
So that's about it for my September 1st.
Payed the bills. Got a FICO bump. Prowly resurfaced. Made it through the first full week of normal work. And.... I am hating the forecast for the next eight days!
Join me tomorrow for Day 1 of scorch torture weekend!
°¦}
Current mood: mixed
So, this notification just came in on my phone at 1AM, here on Friday night/ Saturday morning.
It's a karaoke drum video Brian just posted on Facebook, and Instagram.
That's him, behind his drumset, in his rehersal space... and this is very typical for a Friday and/or Saturday night.
He goes there alone... gets drunk, and records himself playing and singing along with his favorite songs.
He makes several videos per night, and then posts them all online, in the middle of the night, hoping to get tons of likes and comments from everybody.
But then he never does get any likes or comments. So he gets into a sour mood... now very drunk, and then starts shit posting about how everybody's against him.
And he's been doing this every weekend for two years!
Now, you have to keep in mind... these are not true karaoke tracks he's playing and singing along with.
These are just the actual recordings of his favorite songs... with drums and vocals already on them!
So, not only is he always getting copyright strikes, but... it's just a mess!
Drunk drums played over professionally recorded drums... drunk vocals sung over professionally recorded vocals.
It's both very sad to watch... and also very obnoxious to hear!
It's impossible for a sane person to sit through one of these videos to the end!
And just to be clear here!.. if this was just something he did to blow off steam on the weekend?... GREAT! Whatever floats your boat!
It's the fact that he posts recordings of it, and gets angry when nobody cares... that's a problem.
It's the fact that he blows up group chats with unhinged rants at 2AM on the weekends, angry that nobody cares... that's a problem.
And he saw Dad's memorial reunion... as a PROMOTIONAL opportunity for this... where there'd be a CAPTIVE audience of all his friends and family... and he wanted us to sit through TWO HOURS of this!
And he threatened not even to attend the reunion if he couldn't do it!
THAT is why this dumb-assed hobby of his is a problem!
As for the money he spends... again... whatever floats your boat! How you spend your money is not for me to judge.
But he CHRONICALLY complains of car trouble, and how he can't afford simple things like break pads. I gave him $200.00 this summer, in a weak moment when we were on the phone and he gave me the sob story about how he might have to pawn some instruments.
He's gone on Facebook asking people for help with car repairs.
I also had to pay his share of Dad's funeral and burial costs!
I'm not talking about the actual cremation, urn, and prayer cards, which was paid for out of his life insurance. I'm talking about the cost of the actual funeral and burial which we split six ways... between the six siblings.
That only came to $200.00 per sibling, but Brian couldn't afford it. He had expensive car repairs!
So... THAT'S when, how he spends his money, becomes EVERYBODY'S problem! Because he's been blowing $350.00 a month on that rehersal space for two years, and asking friends and family to help him with basic expenses!
So... is this just a bizarre way of being an alcoholic?
I mean... he does not do any other drugs, this I can attest.
But this is not some simple, normal case of alcoholism.
It's not THAT Brian drinks... it's HOW and WHY he drinks.
We'll get into the why later.
But the how is an interesting problem, because all his life he's done it the same way, where he's completely sober all week... but then gets obiterated on the weekend.
And we're not talking hard liquor either. This is beer. This is ALL just beer!
But Bri is, I think, the only drinker I've ever known, who tries to maintain this rigid wall between... drinking days, and sober days... of the week!
And I think it's a HORRIBLE practice!
Like, most of us drink every night!
Every goddam night, when we're done with being responsible for the day, we drink whatever we drink... to relax and unwind... and then we go to bed!
And then on our days off we drink even more! And sometimes we get sloppy. But mostly it's okay.
But Bri doesn't unwind at the end of a day. He just winds... and winds... and winds... all week.
And many a time he's sworn off beer for months at a time!.. just winding... and winding...
Until the spring's so tight, it's red hot and ready to fuse to itself and melt into a blob of molten metal!
But finally he picks his moment... when he's all clear for a day or two with nothing on the table to worry about, and nowhere to be... and he cracks that first beer can tab...
And that's it!.. the spring explodes out of it's casing, getting all tangled up on itself in a big jangly mess, and he flirts with black-out drunk for 24 to 48 hours.
Then he sleeps like the dead.
Then he's hungover like the undead.
Then he's back to work and barely remembers what happened... and foolishly assumes that nobody else remembers what happened.
I've never seen his problem as being the alcohol.
Rather I see the alcohol as his excuse to be as horrible as he really wants to be.
He wants to do and say whatever the fuck he feels like, without any consequences or responsibility... and he wants to do that all the time every day, and hate's that he can't.
But he knows that if he only acts like that on specific days, and if he's drinking while he does it... he can blame it on the alcohol, and on the weekend.
Again, this is only beer.
He's never been to the emergency room because of drinking.
He's not really an alcoholic.
He just uses very tame alcohol as an excuse to be terrible, and pretends like... of course it's only on the weekends, because that's the only time people can drink in our society.
But the weekend drinker is a myth that hasn't been propounded since he was a child in the 1960s... the era he's forever stuck in... in that rehersal space today.
The modern world doesn't even recognize the concept of a weekend drinker.
There is day... and there is night!
You are sober by day... and you can drink at night!
All you have to do is... not post anything, or call anybody... and be ready for work tomorrow!
It's not that hard! Just get buzzed and watch a movie, or... write in your blog that's a livejournal clone, that nobody reads. Just make sure to proofread and get the typos out!
It's all fine. Because most of us don't have some secret NEED to be absolutely horrible!
I think Bri has a need to be absolutely horrible all the time, but learned that it's, sadly, not acceptable... unless it's the weekend and you're drunk!
Why does he need to be absolutely horrible?
Honestly, it's this simple!.. he was the baby of the family for almost six years!
He had three older siblings and he was the baby!
Neither Mom, nor Dad, nor his three siblings, nor Brian ever expected that to change.
But it did because Mom & Dad slipped up and had me... and then decided to have Tim to be my friend, because I was so far separated from the older four.
So right as he was starting grade school... which is stressful... he lost that baby status, and he lost it HARD, over the next couple years!
He didn't even have time to start truly hating me, before Tim was born!
And then it was just ALL OVER FOREVER!
And it all happened between 1969, and 1972... one of the most tumultuous times in American history. Which is why his whole, show, today, is so fixated on music and images from BEFORE that time period!
The EARLY 1960s... when he was not even in school yet!
And that's the age when you ARE kind of absolutely horrible all the time... especially if you're the baby in a family of four.
You DO get to say and do whatever you want without any real consequences or responsibility.
Everybody DOES love every obnoxious thing you do to entertain them!
Bang a bunch of pans and sing along with the radio... "Isn't he adorable!"
THAT's what the photo at the top of this rant is ALL about!
So... in a very twisted way... this is all MY fault!
And with that, I return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
