The October Plan
Wednesday, January 18th, 2023 11:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozefestaudioUp again by 11AM today. I was walking Yvette by 11:30. It was a mildly chilly garbage day, with overcast skies, but no precipitation.
Back inside at noon, Tim was getting up. We went out to bring the garbage bins inside, and I checked the mail while we were out there. I'd gotten my W2 from GeoStaff.
Colleen and Sheila joined us at the house, ten minutes later, and we had a little time to sit around the table and BS, before we had to get to our appointment at the funeral home.
We took both cars... Tim & I in mine, and Colleen and Sheila in Dad's car, because we planned to split up after the meeting.
--<>--
At Dieterlie Memorial home, we were met by Bridgette, a very personable and professional woman, and got down to business.
Long story short, the plan we went with was cremation with a handsome urn that is suitable to be buried straight into the ground, without a surrounding vault.
The urn will be engraved with Dad's full name, and full birth and death dates, along with an easter-lilly cross graphic. And Once his ashes are in the urn, we'll get to bring him back home, for nine months.
Then, in October, we'll have a funeral mass with the urn, and a burial ceremony, where his remains will be buried next to Mom's, in their cemetery plot.
The nine month delay, before the actual mass and burial are to give everybody time to plan, and save up for the event. We chose October, because Dad always said it was his favorite month.
It means nobody has to rush out, or be forced to miss the funeral. And it also means that when the funeral happens, the weather is gonna be very nice!
--<>--
For memorial cards, we picked out a nice set of graphics in the Russian Icon style of old Catholic imagery, with faux gold leaf worked in... because they struck us all as being the most artistic, and appealing... and the least boring, or depressing.
For the prayer on the back, we went with the old Irish blessing; may the road always rise up to meet you... which brought tears to all our eyes when we landed on it.
And we found a nice photo of Dad from 2019 to go above the blessing, where he's smiling, and looking happy.
--<>--
Bridgette also got all the pertinent details from us to hash together a nice obituary, and got the life insurance information as well.
We did determine that I am the beneficiary of his one sole life insurance policy, and that it's only gonna be about $10K.
A full blown funeral with an open casket wake, and burial in a vault, would've run about $20K.
The plan we're going with, will only cost $4,000.00.
--<>--
Colleen & Sheila also want to do a family & friend memorial mingle, this Saturday, at the Round House, and we agreed to scout it out later tonight for dinner.
But after the meeting, Tim and I had to go out in search of a showerhead that would work in the shower of the downstairs bathroom.
We started our journey by getting some beer and smokes at Foremore, the old liquor store where Dad and I went every Sunday together after eating out. And then we made our way across town to Home Depot, where we found a shower head that might work.
We got stuck in rush hour traffic on the way back across town to home... not getting back until sundown.
I fought with the downstairs shower for the better part of an hour, but I did get the new showerhead to thread onto the ancient, rusty, galvanized pipe, and seal! It worked!
After that I took Yvette for a walk, while Tim took a shower.
And around 7PM we finally met up with Colleen & Sheila again, at the Round House, which is less than two miles from the house... and part of the greater train station/transportation complex that includes the hotel that they're staying at.
On a Wednesday night, there weren't many people in the bar area where we sat to eat and drink.
The Round House has different rooms that can be rented out for special occasions, and Tim, Colleen, and Sheila scoped them out and talked about them, but I was interested in the bar area itself, which has a second level.
I scoped out that mezzenine level of the bar and reported back to them that it had a good vibe and good view, so, Sheila asked our bar tender, Andrea, if they rented out that area.
Andrea said they did not. But they did have a different section of the bar area on the main floor that was often reserved for smaller mingling events like we were looking to do.
She showed us around that area, which felt perfect, and had a nice view of downtown out the windows, and we were all sold!
It was settled that we'll have our memorial in this part of the Round House bar area on Saturday, and have the memorial cards on hand, as well as some decorations, appetizers, and so forth.
--<>--
After our scope-out dinner, we went back to the house and hung out in the kitchen for a few more hours, just bullshitting and reminiscing.
When it all broke up, I found Yvette in Dad's bedroom, laying on the carpet where she used to lay by Dad's bed... but with no bed in the room anymore, and no Dad. And she looked genuinely sad!
It made me want to cry, and I petted her and reassured her that I'd be around the rest of her life, even if Dad was gone now.
It didn't seem much consolation to her. But I was also kinda surprised that she suddenly cared, because while Dad was still in there on his death bed, Yvette really ignored him, and would not come close enough for him to pet her, even when he called to her.
She seemed not to care about him, in that bed ridden state. But the past month and a half have been a big upset for all of us here, and maybe she was just waiting for everything to go back to normal... much as Dad himself was doing!
And now... she's realizing he's really gone for good this time, and it breaks my heart even more than losing Dad himself.
I too wish things would just go back to normal!
--<>--
Dad's death may have been the best possible death for him... but god damn if he didn't rip a huge hole in the lives of the rest of us!
He brought in a dog he could not outlive, and not only saddled me with her, but also broke her heart!
And he didn't plan for his funeral, and only left a lousy $10K life insurance policy, which, after this cheep cremation ceremony, will only leave me with two months to fully take the reigns of this house, financially, by myself!
We loved him, and we'll miss him very much, but... he was kinda selfish and thoughtless!
------------{=0=}------------
Tomorrow, everybody's gonna catch up on their sleep, and there are no real plans.
But Friday, Tim's kids come to town, and Saturday is the memorial mingle. So... more chaos on the horizon before I return to work on Monday.
°¦}
https://soundcloud.com/snoozefestaudio
Back inside at noon, Tim was getting up. We went out to bring the garbage bins inside, and I checked the mail while we were out there. I'd gotten my W2 from GeoStaff.
Colleen and Sheila joined us at the house, ten minutes later, and we had a little time to sit around the table and BS, before we had to get to our appointment at the funeral home.
We took both cars... Tim & I in mine, and Colleen and Sheila in Dad's car, because we planned to split up after the meeting.
At Dieterlie Memorial home, we were met by Bridgette, a very personable and professional woman, and got down to business.
Long story short, the plan we went with was cremation with a handsome urn that is suitable to be buried straight into the ground, without a surrounding vault.
The urn will be engraved with Dad's full name, and full birth and death dates, along with an easter-lilly cross graphic. And Once his ashes are in the urn, we'll get to bring him back home, for nine months.
Then, in October, we'll have a funeral mass with the urn, and a burial ceremony, where his remains will be buried next to Mom's, in their cemetery plot.
The nine month delay, before the actual mass and burial are to give everybody time to plan, and save up for the event. We chose October, because Dad always said it was his favorite month.
It means nobody has to rush out, or be forced to miss the funeral. And it also means that when the funeral happens, the weather is gonna be very nice!
For memorial cards, we picked out a nice set of graphics in the Russian Icon style of old Catholic imagery, with faux gold leaf worked in... because they struck us all as being the most artistic, and appealing... and the least boring, or depressing.
For the prayer on the back, we went with the old Irish blessing; may the road always rise up to meet you... which brought tears to all our eyes when we landed on it.
And we found a nice photo of Dad from 2019 to go above the blessing, where he's smiling, and looking happy.
Bridgette also got all the pertinent details from us to hash together a nice obituary, and got the life insurance information as well.
We did determine that I am the beneficiary of his one sole life insurance policy, and that it's only gonna be about $10K.
A full blown funeral with an open casket wake, and burial in a vault, would've run about $20K.
The plan we're going with, will only cost $4,000.00.
Colleen & Sheila also want to do a family & friend memorial mingle, this Saturday, at the Round House, and we agreed to scout it out later tonight for dinner.
But after the meeting, Tim and I had to go out in search of a showerhead that would work in the shower of the downstairs bathroom.
We started our journey by getting some beer and smokes at Foremore, the old liquor store where Dad and I went every Sunday together after eating out. And then we made our way across town to Home Depot, where we found a shower head that might work.
We got stuck in rush hour traffic on the way back across town to home... not getting back until sundown.
I fought with the downstairs shower for the better part of an hour, but I did get the new showerhead to thread onto the ancient, rusty, galvanized pipe, and seal! It worked!
After that I took Yvette for a walk, while Tim took a shower.
And around 7PM we finally met up with Colleen & Sheila again, at the Round House, which is less than two miles from the house... and part of the greater train station/transportation complex that includes the hotel that they're staying at.
On a Wednesday night, there weren't many people in the bar area where we sat to eat and drink.
The Round House has different rooms that can be rented out for special occasions, and Tim, Colleen, and Sheila scoped them out and talked about them, but I was interested in the bar area itself, which has a second level.
I scoped out that mezzenine level of the bar and reported back to them that it had a good vibe and good view, so, Sheila asked our bar tender, Andrea, if they rented out that area.
Andrea said they did not. But they did have a different section of the bar area on the main floor that was often reserved for smaller mingling events like we were looking to do.
She showed us around that area, which felt perfect, and had a nice view of downtown out the windows, and we were all sold!
It was settled that we'll have our memorial in this part of the Round House bar area on Saturday, and have the memorial cards on hand, as well as some decorations, appetizers, and so forth.
After our scope-out dinner, we went back to the house and hung out in the kitchen for a few more hours, just bullshitting and reminiscing.
When it all broke up, I found Yvette in Dad's bedroom, laying on the carpet where she used to lay by Dad's bed... but with no bed in the room anymore, and no Dad. And she looked genuinely sad!
It made me want to cry, and I petted her and reassured her that I'd be around the rest of her life, even if Dad was gone now.
It didn't seem much consolation to her. But I was also kinda surprised that she suddenly cared, because while Dad was still in there on his death bed, Yvette really ignored him, and would not come close enough for him to pet her, even when he called to her.
She seemed not to care about him, in that bed ridden state. But the past month and a half have been a big upset for all of us here, and maybe she was just waiting for everything to go back to normal... much as Dad himself was doing!
And now... she's realizing he's really gone for good this time, and it breaks my heart even more than losing Dad himself.
I too wish things would just go back to normal!
Dad's death may have been the best possible death for him... but god damn if he didn't rip a huge hole in the lives of the rest of us!
He brought in a dog he could not outlive, and not only saddled me with her, but also broke her heart!
And he didn't plan for his funeral, and only left a lousy $10K life insurance policy, which, after this cheep cremation ceremony, will only leave me with two months to fully take the reigns of this house, financially, by myself!
We loved him, and we'll miss him very much, but... he was kinda selfish and thoughtless!
Tomorrow, everybody's gonna catch up on their sleep, and there are no real plans.
But Friday, Tim's kids come to town, and Saturday is the memorial mingle. So... more chaos on the horizon before I return to work on Monday.
°¦}
