![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Saturday Circus
Saturday, January 21st, 2023 11:58 pmSlept in today, but the front doorbell rang when I was still on the toilet, with my coffee brewing!
I managed to get down there, and it was a guy delivering flowers, for Dad's memorial, as sent by friends of Sheila from LA.
I had him bring them to the side porch and then, after signing for them, went back upstairs to get dressed and get my coffee.
Then it was downstairs to take Yvette for a walk, and Tim was up, and asking who had come to the door.
After the dog walk, Tim was still in his room, kinda not fully awake, so I went upstairs to spend a few quiet hours on the calendar cards.
The front doorbell rang a second time with a second delivery for Sheila... this time a coffee cake. And then... 30 minutes later, it rang a third time!
--<>--
The third time, it was Ted, my neighbor from across the street, and former schoolmate from grade school, who is running for reelection for alderman, and he wanted permission to put a sign in our front yard.
I told him, yes, by all means!... and then I let him know that Dad had died on Tuesday and he was shocked, because he had no clue.
But while I was talking to Ted on the front stoop, I noticed that the mailbox was crammed full, so I grabbed all the mail and brought it into the kitchen, where Tim was now awake with his coffee.
--<>--
In the mail, we had 10 letters addressed to Dad, and all ten were get-well cards from people he knew from church!
It was quite sad, because word must've gotten around to them from the guys who came to give Dad communion last Saturday... that he was NOT doing very well... and it had taken their well-wishing cards this long to get to us... now days after his death!
Long story short, a lot of people don't know yet, that Dad is dead!
We didn't have an obituary printed in the local paper immediately, becuase the obit would cost $300.00! And that's kind of an obscene price to pay for an announcement that used to be free, back in the day!
But the local paper is only read by old dying folks now, so... they're getting subscription money from them, beyond the grave, by charging their families for obituaries!
We weren't sure what to do... send thank you cards and prayer cards to the people who'd sent the get-well cards?... or call the church to put an announcement in their bulletin?.. or...???
Whatever needs to be done, it's the weekend now, and it'll have to wait until Monday, when Sheila and Colleen are leaving town, and I'm going back to work!
------------{=0=}------------
Things got up and running downstairs, and Veda, Wendy, Joe, Frank, and Emberly came by from the Air B&B.
Colleen & Sheila were getting ready to set things up for the memorial at the Roundhouse, and Veda was gonna join them soon, but we had to take care of some things for Veda to bring to them... including a good, framed picture of Dad to display.
I fetched Dad's high school portrait, which has hung down in the basement, on the fruit cabinet, for decades, out of the sun. The photo itself was in perfect condition, but the glass and the frame were dusty, so we cleaned it up and found a stand to hold the frame on a table top.
That photo, and a few other things, like a train engine from his train set, and a dinosaur that sat on his desk, we sent along with Veda, along with the flowers, when she went to join Colleen and Sheila.
------------{=0=}------------
When it came time for us to move, Tim, Frank, and I, went in my car to the round house, stopping on the way to get beer first.
At the round house, in the bar area, we met the rest of the family, along with a couple of Sheila's friends.
A bunch of appetizers were on hand, along with a display on one table with the picture of Dad, the flowers, the prayer cards, etc.
Things began innocently enough, with everybody just hanging out, eating the appetizers, and drinking either soda, or alcohol.
It felt like it was gonna be a fairly tame evening, that might end early.
But then Brian and Karen arrived, and not long after, Brian's old friend Joe came in off the train, from Chicago.
Nobody had seen Joe in decades, so it was nice to see him again, and he's a great guy. But this dynamic began to set up, because we had old friends of Colleen, Sheila, and Bri... where they were all gettin' a li'l tipsy!...
Havin' a li'l too much fun?..
Then Bridget appeared... wife of my old friend, Chris!
------------{=0=}------------
Chris and I had stopped talking way back in March of 2016. So, this was a little awkward for me, but... Bridgette knows Tim and Karen, and even my sisters, and... is also a high energy person who gets super animated at bars.
It turns out that Bridget's brother was celebrating his birthday here at the Roundhouse tonight, and Bridget was here for that, but knew, from posts on Facebook, that my family would also be here tonight.
So... it's not clear how much of this was really coincidence, or just... Bridget engineering her brother's birthday to be at the Roundhouse at the last minute... the way we held Frankie's birthday party at the last minute, last night, at Garios.
Either way, Bridget not only added to the already heady atmosphere at the memorial mingle, but... eventually I found myself face to face with Chris!
------------{=0=}------------
The way it was engineered that I meet up with Chris was... Bridget got drunken Brian to follow her over to an area near the bathroom, where she got Brian to talk to Chris.
Then, Bridget and Chris waited there, with drunk Brian, until I eventually had to pee.
I walked past the three of them into, and back out of the bathroom, without really acknowledging them... but I also went outside to smoke right after that, and that's where they cornered me.
Bridget, Chris, Brian, and even Tim, all cornered me out there smoking, and then, after I was forced to begin a civil conversation with Chris... they all ran away to leave us two to bury the hatchet.
--<>--
Tim said himself, later in the night... drunk, that he had no problem leaving me to bury the hatchet with Chris, because I'd already been preaching to him a couple weeks ago about letting bygones be bygones, in reference to the bad blood he had with Kevin, Brian, and Sheila.
Tim HAD been forced to get along, and reconcile with three of his siblings, and it had been a good thing, but... in his estimation, it was now time for me to do the same thing with Chris.
I would argue that Chris is NOT one of our siblings, and therefore, it was not necessary to smooth anything over with him, in connection with the death of our father... but... Chris threw in something about how he was raised just as much by dad as we were... which... is kind of an insult... given how far that is from reality... and the circumstances under which he said it.
--<>--
I do suspect this confrontation with Chris was actually planned days ago, with Bridget as the mastermind, texting both Tim and Brian... possibly getting others on board.
Chris always used to say that coincidences are meaningless, and happen all the time... because that's a great way to gaslight people you're trying to manipulate.
I can grant that some things are coincidence... but, I was expecting for a week, that he'd find some way to use my Dad's death as an excuse to speak to me again, and I was right. So... I predicted it!
Therefore... not a coincidence.
Therefore... gaslighting... which is why we stopped speaking in the first place.
But our talk was civil.
The kind of talk you have with an old friend. They're the same. You're the same. Your old rapport is the same. It feels like putting on an old shoe. Very comfortable.
We kind of caught up out there, in the cold. It carried back inside, into the lobby. But when it was time to return to my family... he didn't join me, or go to rejoin his own family... but rather just left to go home.
This also told me he was only there to exploit the stupendous event of my father's death... to break the ice of our seven year silence.
--<>--
In Tim's case... letting bygones be bygones with actual siblings, in the act of caring for Dad, in his last days... he proved his worth to them, and they proved their worth to him, as all... proved their worth to Dad.
We all worked together, as a team, to see Dad out, and deal with the aftermath... helping one another as we helped Dad.
Chris... is showing up when it's all over.
It's not exactly the same.
But you know what, fine! I can let bygones be bygones.
------------{=0=}------------
After Chris left, I found myself talking to Brian's old friend Joe, who I haven't seen since I was in grade school, but we were having a nice talk about art and music.
Brian joined us, but the last train back to Chicago had also pulled up outside the complex.
The three of us decided to run to the trunk of my car, where I had beers, to down three cans quickly before Joe had to go back to the city.
We did that... and peed outside the roundouse in a darkened corner, near the tracks.
And then Bri and I both gave Joe a hug and he boarded the train.
------------{=0=}------------
Back inside the roundhouse, I found Colleen in a bit of distress, with Veda and Sheila hovering around her.
Apparently Sheila's friend Peggy had gotten a bit too drunk, and fallen over, taking Colleen with her to the floor... causing some kind of injury to Colleen's right wrist!
And now, Veda was about to take Colleen to the Emergency Room!
There was a frantic bit of brainstorming to figure things out, because Veda couldn't stay with Colleen in the ER, but drunk Peggy needed to get home and...
It ended up that Brian & Karen took Peggy home on their way out of town, and Sheila's friend Jenny drove both of them to the ER to be with Colleen.
Meanwhile, Frank and Joe drove Tim & I home, in my car.
Then Veda came in Dad's car to get Frank & Joe, with Wendy and Emberly already in the car, and they went back to Yorkville.
Tim was so drunk, when we got back, he was falling asleep in his chair at the kitchen table, so I let him go to bed and came upstairs.
------------{=0=}------------
Twenty mintues later, Snoop came upstairs to see me... but he was wet!
I ran downstairs and saw to my horror that the back door was once again blown open by the wind, and it was snowing outside!
Snoop had been out there... but Prowly was currently MIA!
I went out with a flashlight, found prowly, and brought him back inside, but he fought me, and once back inside, he and snoop were acting weird... hissing at each other and fighting!
Was this Prowly, high on his taste of the outdooors, now pissed to be back inside before he was ready, and taking it out on Snoop?
Or was this... that third sibling of theirs, who I've seen out there in recent days, brought in by accident... and a total stranger to Snoop?
I could not be sure!
--<>--
I quarantined the two cats upstairs and then went outside with a flashlight to search for the REAL Prowly, twice... with no results.
Then I settled in upstairs and... after some time, it started to seem like maybe the cat I'd brought in from outside might be the real Prowly after all.
Shaking a treat bag, brought them both running like it normally does, and they ate the treats together on the floor like normal... which would seem unlikely, if one of them was a stray impostor.
So I THINK my cat's are both inside tonight?
--<>--
Meanwhile, Sheila and Jenny were at the ER with Colleen, and still are, as I finish this entry at 4AM!
Colleen fractured a bone in her wrist, and they put her on morphine, to set it, and then put it into a cast.
She's not being admitted to the hospital, but the three of them are still waiting for her to be discharged... all very tired, after a long day.
--<>--
Sheila has to leave tomorrow, in the early afternoon, and though Colleen was not scheduled to leave until Monday afternoon... it's not clear if she can just get on a plane and go back home... with her right arm in a sling.
There will definitely be more brainstorming to do, to figure out how to get Colleen back home safely... while Tim's family's still not entirely sure how to get all of themselves back home!
--<>--
Last I spoke to Sheila, she was sounding a bit bitter... that she and Colleen are stuck in the ER, in the wee hours of the morning, while everybody else went home to sleep.
They were the ones who bankrolled the big memorial mingle, and they're left holding the bag.
She was saying it made her not want to come back out for October.
------------{=0=}------------
All I can say here...
Is that I wanted to have Dad cremated, and have those remains brought back to the house!
I told that to BOTH Colleen and Sheila, multiple times!
It was the two of them, who insisted that we have a little memorial mingle right away at the round house!
They're complaining now that they paid for this party and the drunken bullshit that left them in the ER together with everybody going home to sleep but... it was their goddam idea!
I kept telling them we had no money for bullshit like that, and they were so insistent that it needed to be done, they paid for it themselves, invited all the people, and encouraged the mayhem!
Now they're thinking the October burial is not worth it!
Well... I wanted the ashes to come home and stay here, with a little memorial in the living room for a few months, and then quietly dump the ashes, or bury the urn later, without any big, expensive ceremony.
Now I'll probably get my way, I guess.
--<>--
What does it all go to show?
I dunno!
Maybe don't turn Dad's death into a drunk fucking circus?
°¦}
https://soundcloud.com/snoozefestaudio
I managed to get down there, and it was a guy delivering flowers, for Dad's memorial, as sent by friends of Sheila from LA.
I had him bring them to the side porch and then, after signing for them, went back upstairs to get dressed and get my coffee.
Then it was downstairs to take Yvette for a walk, and Tim was up, and asking who had come to the door.
After the dog walk, Tim was still in his room, kinda not fully awake, so I went upstairs to spend a few quiet hours on the calendar cards.
The front doorbell rang a second time with a second delivery for Sheila... this time a coffee cake. And then... 30 minutes later, it rang a third time!
The third time, it was Ted, my neighbor from across the street, and former schoolmate from grade school, who is running for reelection for alderman, and he wanted permission to put a sign in our front yard.
I told him, yes, by all means!... and then I let him know that Dad had died on Tuesday and he was shocked, because he had no clue.
But while I was talking to Ted on the front stoop, I noticed that the mailbox was crammed full, so I grabbed all the mail and brought it into the kitchen, where Tim was now awake with his coffee.
In the mail, we had 10 letters addressed to Dad, and all ten were get-well cards from people he knew from church!
It was quite sad, because word must've gotten around to them from the guys who came to give Dad communion last Saturday... that he was NOT doing very well... and it had taken their well-wishing cards this long to get to us... now days after his death!
Long story short, a lot of people don't know yet, that Dad is dead!
We didn't have an obituary printed in the local paper immediately, becuase the obit would cost $300.00! And that's kind of an obscene price to pay for an announcement that used to be free, back in the day!
But the local paper is only read by old dying folks now, so... they're getting subscription money from them, beyond the grave, by charging their families for obituaries!
We weren't sure what to do... send thank you cards and prayer cards to the people who'd sent the get-well cards?... or call the church to put an announcement in their bulletin?.. or...???
Whatever needs to be done, it's the weekend now, and it'll have to wait until Monday, when Sheila and Colleen are leaving town, and I'm going back to work!
Things got up and running downstairs, and Veda, Wendy, Joe, Frank, and Emberly came by from the Air B&B.
Colleen & Sheila were getting ready to set things up for the memorial at the Roundhouse, and Veda was gonna join them soon, but we had to take care of some things for Veda to bring to them... including a good, framed picture of Dad to display.
I fetched Dad's high school portrait, which has hung down in the basement, on the fruit cabinet, for decades, out of the sun. The photo itself was in perfect condition, but the glass and the frame were dusty, so we cleaned it up and found a stand to hold the frame on a table top.
That photo, and a few other things, like a train engine from his train set, and a dinosaur that sat on his desk, we sent along with Veda, along with the flowers, when she went to join Colleen and Sheila.
When it came time for us to move, Tim, Frank, and I, went in my car to the round house, stopping on the way to get beer first.
At the round house, in the bar area, we met the rest of the family, along with a couple of Sheila's friends.
A bunch of appetizers were on hand, along with a display on one table with the picture of Dad, the flowers, the prayer cards, etc.
Things began innocently enough, with everybody just hanging out, eating the appetizers, and drinking either soda, or alcohol.
It felt like it was gonna be a fairly tame evening, that might end early.
But then Brian and Karen arrived, and not long after, Brian's old friend Joe came in off the train, from Chicago.
Nobody had seen Joe in decades, so it was nice to see him again, and he's a great guy. But this dynamic began to set up, because we had old friends of Colleen, Sheila, and Bri... where they were all gettin' a li'l tipsy!...
Havin' a li'l too much fun?..
Then Bridget appeared... wife of my old friend, Chris!
Chris and I had stopped talking way back in March of 2016. So, this was a little awkward for me, but... Bridgette knows Tim and Karen, and even my sisters, and... is also a high energy person who gets super animated at bars.
It turns out that Bridget's brother was celebrating his birthday here at the Roundhouse tonight, and Bridget was here for that, but knew, from posts on Facebook, that my family would also be here tonight.
So... it's not clear how much of this was really coincidence, or just... Bridget engineering her brother's birthday to be at the Roundhouse at the last minute... the way we held Frankie's birthday party at the last minute, last night, at Garios.
Either way, Bridget not only added to the already heady atmosphere at the memorial mingle, but... eventually I found myself face to face with Chris!
The way it was engineered that I meet up with Chris was... Bridget got drunken Brian to follow her over to an area near the bathroom, where she got Brian to talk to Chris.
Then, Bridget and Chris waited there, with drunk Brian, until I eventually had to pee.
I walked past the three of them into, and back out of the bathroom, without really acknowledging them... but I also went outside to smoke right after that, and that's where they cornered me.
Bridget, Chris, Brian, and even Tim, all cornered me out there smoking, and then, after I was forced to begin a civil conversation with Chris... they all ran away to leave us two to bury the hatchet.
Tim said himself, later in the night... drunk, that he had no problem leaving me to bury the hatchet with Chris, because I'd already been preaching to him a couple weeks ago about letting bygones be bygones, in reference to the bad blood he had with Kevin, Brian, and Sheila.
Tim HAD been forced to get along, and reconcile with three of his siblings, and it had been a good thing, but... in his estimation, it was now time for me to do the same thing with Chris.
I would argue that Chris is NOT one of our siblings, and therefore, it was not necessary to smooth anything over with him, in connection with the death of our father... but... Chris threw in something about how he was raised just as much by dad as we were... which... is kind of an insult... given how far that is from reality... and the circumstances under which he said it.
I do suspect this confrontation with Chris was actually planned days ago, with Bridget as the mastermind, texting both Tim and Brian... possibly getting others on board.
Chris always used to say that coincidences are meaningless, and happen all the time... because that's a great way to gaslight people you're trying to manipulate.
I can grant that some things are coincidence... but, I was expecting for a week, that he'd find some way to use my Dad's death as an excuse to speak to me again, and I was right. So... I predicted it!
Therefore... not a coincidence.
Therefore... gaslighting... which is why we stopped speaking in the first place.
But our talk was civil.
The kind of talk you have with an old friend. They're the same. You're the same. Your old rapport is the same. It feels like putting on an old shoe. Very comfortable.
We kind of caught up out there, in the cold. It carried back inside, into the lobby. But when it was time to return to my family... he didn't join me, or go to rejoin his own family... but rather just left to go home.
This also told me he was only there to exploit the stupendous event of my father's death... to break the ice of our seven year silence.
In Tim's case... letting bygones be bygones with actual siblings, in the act of caring for Dad, in his last days... he proved his worth to them, and they proved their worth to him, as all... proved their worth to Dad.
We all worked together, as a team, to see Dad out, and deal with the aftermath... helping one another as we helped Dad.
Chris... is showing up when it's all over.
It's not exactly the same.
But you know what, fine! I can let bygones be bygones.
After Chris left, I found myself talking to Brian's old friend Joe, who I haven't seen since I was in grade school, but we were having a nice talk about art and music.
Brian joined us, but the last train back to Chicago had also pulled up outside the complex.
The three of us decided to run to the trunk of my car, where I had beers, to down three cans quickly before Joe had to go back to the city.
We did that... and peed outside the roundouse in a darkened corner, near the tracks.
And then Bri and I both gave Joe a hug and he boarded the train.
Back inside the roundhouse, I found Colleen in a bit of distress, with Veda and Sheila hovering around her.
Apparently Sheila's friend Peggy had gotten a bit too drunk, and fallen over, taking Colleen with her to the floor... causing some kind of injury to Colleen's right wrist!
And now, Veda was about to take Colleen to the Emergency Room!
There was a frantic bit of brainstorming to figure things out, because Veda couldn't stay with Colleen in the ER, but drunk Peggy needed to get home and...
It ended up that Brian & Karen took Peggy home on their way out of town, and Sheila's friend Jenny drove both of them to the ER to be with Colleen.
Meanwhile, Frank and Joe drove Tim & I home, in my car.
Then Veda came in Dad's car to get Frank & Joe, with Wendy and Emberly already in the car, and they went back to Yorkville.
Tim was so drunk, when we got back, he was falling asleep in his chair at the kitchen table, so I let him go to bed and came upstairs.
Twenty mintues later, Snoop came upstairs to see me... but he was wet!
I ran downstairs and saw to my horror that the back door was once again blown open by the wind, and it was snowing outside!
Snoop had been out there... but Prowly was currently MIA!
I went out with a flashlight, found prowly, and brought him back inside, but he fought me, and once back inside, he and snoop were acting weird... hissing at each other and fighting!
Was this Prowly, high on his taste of the outdooors, now pissed to be back inside before he was ready, and taking it out on Snoop?
Or was this... that third sibling of theirs, who I've seen out there in recent days, brought in by accident... and a total stranger to Snoop?
I could not be sure!
I quarantined the two cats upstairs and then went outside with a flashlight to search for the REAL Prowly, twice... with no results.
Then I settled in upstairs and... after some time, it started to seem like maybe the cat I'd brought in from outside might be the real Prowly after all.
Shaking a treat bag, brought them both running like it normally does, and they ate the treats together on the floor like normal... which would seem unlikely, if one of them was a stray impostor.
So I THINK my cat's are both inside tonight?
Meanwhile, Sheila and Jenny were at the ER with Colleen, and still are, as I finish this entry at 4AM!
Colleen fractured a bone in her wrist, and they put her on morphine, to set it, and then put it into a cast.
She's not being admitted to the hospital, but the three of them are still waiting for her to be discharged... all very tired, after a long day.
Sheila has to leave tomorrow, in the early afternoon, and though Colleen was not scheduled to leave until Monday afternoon... it's not clear if she can just get on a plane and go back home... with her right arm in a sling.
There will definitely be more brainstorming to do, to figure out how to get Colleen back home safely... while Tim's family's still not entirely sure how to get all of themselves back home!
Last I spoke to Sheila, she was sounding a bit bitter... that she and Colleen are stuck in the ER, in the wee hours of the morning, while everybody else went home to sleep.
They were the ones who bankrolled the big memorial mingle, and they're left holding the bag.
She was saying it made her not want to come back out for October.
All I can say here...
Is that I wanted to have Dad cremated, and have those remains brought back to the house!
I told that to BOTH Colleen and Sheila, multiple times!
It was the two of them, who insisted that we have a little memorial mingle right away at the round house!
They're complaining now that they paid for this party and the drunken bullshit that left them in the ER together with everybody going home to sleep but... it was their goddam idea!
I kept telling them we had no money for bullshit like that, and they were so insistent that it needed to be done, they paid for it themselves, invited all the people, and encouraged the mayhem!
Now they're thinking the October burial is not worth it!
Well... I wanted the ashes to come home and stay here, with a little memorial in the living room for a few months, and then quietly dump the ashes, or bury the urn later, without any big, expensive ceremony.
Now I'll probably get my way, I guess.
What does it all go to show?
I dunno!
Maybe don't turn Dad's death into a drunk fucking circus?
°¦}
