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Junebug Luck
Wednesday, September 21st, 2022 08:34 pmToday was the Autumnal Equinox, and... though it felt like hot ass summer on the drive in to work, and I sweat the entire shift, doing my work... by the time I left at 7PM, it was dark, and there was a cool breeze in the air.
I stopped at a Walgreens, on the way home, to get cat food... a new Wallgreens I've never been to before. And as I got out of the car I noticed little gold leaves all over the ground. Locust leaves, from locust trees around the perimeter of the lot, which had begun to turn.
And as I watched the little gold leaves blow across the lot in the cool autumn breeze, I realized this was the first stop after work to grab cat food that I'd done since June of 2020... and thought about how much had happened since then... and how I never imagined I'd be doing this again so soon!
But here I was, creating this fall 2022 memory, walking away from a new car, on the way home from a new job, walking into a new Walgreens, to get food for my new cats!
--<>--
After living off my 401K through 2021, all I knew in January of this year was... the money's running out at the end of May. And I could not see further than the end of May. I didn't dare think about October!
I was ready to start my handiman business as soon as the snow melted, and I hoped it would work out, but it was a gamble.
I figured I might have to get a part time job to suplement the income, but I definitely didn't plan on trading in my little red Yaris for something else, and there was no way I was gonna adopt any cats for another few years.
--<>--
You mostly know the story about how I got from there to here.
And you know I've attributed a lot of the crazy steps along the way to the universe just fucking with me this year.
But it didn't strike me until last night, when I got that check for $230.00 out of nowhere in the mail... that this WASN'T just the universe fucking with me.
I'd forgotten that back in early May... right around when that money was running out, and things weren't looking too good for the business... I found a junebug clinging to the screen of my front door, and gave it's wings a rub!
------------{=0=}------------
The superstition that Junebugs are lucky, is one I made up myself many years ago.
The, "logic," behind it, is that Junebugs, which are beetles, are in the family, Scarabaeidae... or in other words, they're scarab beetles.
And to the ancient Egyptians, scarab beetles were symbols of Re, the sun god, and considered to be powerful talismans.
--<>--
The first time I ever decided to rub the wing cases of some junebugs clinging to my front door screen, was back in June of 2006... when I was working the apartment maintenance job, and living with Patti and the four cats.
I was at my wits end with that $9.00 per hour job, and our relationship was on the rocks because we had no money, and we had too many cats. I felt trapped and depressed, like I'd taken a very wrong turn in life and couldn't see a way forward.
I wished on the junebugs out of desperation. But things began to get crazy after that, and a year later... in June of 2007, when the junebugs returned, I realized everything had changed!
It had not been a fun, or happy change... it was insanely chaotic change... but now that it was over... my life was back on track!
That chaos began with me quitting the maintenance job... then Patti's Dad managed to get me into a janitor gig where he worked a few months later. And that should've saved everything, because it paid so much more... but then Patti freaked out because I was working second shift, which meant she'd never see me!..
And the drama just kept escalating until we broke up!.. but I hung on to the job anyway, and managed to hang on to the apartment, and take care of the four cats, all by myself... and like... lost 40 pounds that spring!
So, when the Junebugs returned in 2007, I was single and skinny, with a good job... had everything under control... and was happy and had a good future!
--<>--
But I recognized that Junebug magic is not something to mess around with!
When you come to the Junebugs for help... they will help you... but they will do it THEIR way!.. and it will be chaotic!.. and you will pay some kind of price!
The big price I paid that time was losing Patti... which wasn't just losing another girlfriend. It was the END of girlfriends!
I haven't been on so much as a date since she left me... sixteen years ago!
But that leads us to the SECOND time, I dared, to ask the Junebugs for help!
------------{=0=}------------
For six Junes, I left the junebugs on my front screen door alone. Didn't want to take a chance, because life was going well enough.
I'd advanced from Janitor, at the job they'd gotten me, to maintenance. I was back down to my original two cats. And I'd finally graduated to day shift, after working night shift for six years.
But in 2013, I decided to chance it. I rubbed the wing cases of a junebug... because I'd been lonely, after six years, and wanted another shot at a girlfriend.
And money had been so tight for so long... and a second income would help with that.
If I could just find a woman who wanted to move in with me, in this flat I'd been holding down... so we could combine our resources and make a better...
Almost immediately... one month later, my Mom fell ill and went into a rehab center for prolonged care. And at the same time, I was overdrafting at the bank, and barely able to pay the rent anymore... which had been creeping up faster than my raises at work.
The no brainer solution was just to move back home... as my lease would be up at the end of August anyway.
It was possible now, with only the two aging cats... rather than the four younger cats of earlier years.
It was a big change! I'd lived at that flat for 12 years by that point. And I knew, moving back with the parents would be the nail in the coffin for finding a new girlfriend, but it would mean a lot more disposeable cash every month!
The transition was a bit chaotic, but before I settled in, Mom up and died!
Nobody thought she was gonna go so fast, and it was a huge deal trying to get the whole family back for the funeral, which ended up being in the middle of February, during a deep freeze.
Like the first time around with the junebugs, I got a solution... but not the one I was picturing! And I got it only after a big chaotic transition... and this time, around, lost my Mom!
------------{=0=}------------
After that, I was ALL DONE wishing on Junebugs.
They returned every year, like they do, from 2014, all the way through 2021. And every year, I left them alone.
2020 was a memorable June, because not only was the pandemic raging, but the Black Lives Matter protests were sweeping the nation. I'd already watched my boss and dozens of others get fired the year before, and Dad had already survived a bout with bladder cancer the year before as well.
And as I was out there on the side porch, running new electrical for lights, they would buzz and bump around me... as if checking in, like, "Hey!.. ready for a magical recharge yet?"
"Nope! Everything's fine, junebugs! Thanks for asking."
One actually bumped my arm, and I was like, "That doesn't count!"
--<>--
The next June, 2021, I had finally lost that job, and had no clear idea what I was gonna do once my money ran out... but when they came to visit me again on that side porch... as I painted it this time around... again... I told them everything was fine!
--<>--
But by May of this year, I did...
I forgot, because we didn't have many of them this spring, but I did...
When I saw one hanging on the screen door of that side porch one night, I did rub it's wing cases.
I didn't picture anything, or wish for anything. I just did it like, "help!"
And then I went back to worrying about things as normal.
------------{=0=}------------
So, this blog tells you how things went after that, starting in June.
Just kind of starving... and reading... and building weird contraptions out of balloons, old keys & twine, wooden spools & chicken wire... transplanting seedlings and taking long walks at night to record Katydid's in a forgotten corner of an island block.
And I guess maybe the Junebugs had a look at that... they had a little conference to review my file.
They said, "Well... he made quite a go with the luck that we gave him for quite a long time. And he does seem more humble than in years past. So... maybe we can go a bit easier on him this time."
So they gave me Snoop & Prowly, which forced me to look for a job right away, and they let me get the job I wanted a day later.
But... "Okay, chaos! What's he in for?.. Erm... give him a snag in starting the job and... Oh!.. send his Dad to the hospital, definitely!"
"Should we kill his dad?"
"Um... I dunno if we need to go THAT hard, this time..."
"What then, shall be the life tribute?"
"Erm... how 'bout we knock down a tree?.. This one back here's got some sentimental value, and... it's also been a big source of concern that he doesn't want to deal with right now so..."
"So be it! Kill the tree, and make him cut it up all by himself!"
So, they rolled that all out... but then some junebug case worker, after the fact, looking it over was like, "He seems to have satisfied all the terms of the luck loan, but... he actually qualifies for a small rebate, because he's living in a metaphysical hole that blocks good thunderstorms."
"Okay, well... shoot him a check for 230.00. Make it look like... it had something to do with his old job that we got him in the 2000s."
------------{=0=}------------
Junebug luck is neither good, nor bad luck but chaotic luck. And the level of chaos depends on the jam you're looking to get out of... how much of it was your fault... and how humble you are when you go to them.
It's good luck in the sense that, it is a good defense against the ways that the universe and history tend to fuck with your life.
But you do always pay for junebug luck, not only through chaos, but also a mix of humility and responsibility... because you don't get the life you wanted, but the one they decided was best... and you always also pay some kind permanent life sacrifice.
So for me, the first time, it was no more girlfriends ever again. This third time, it was... no more Mulberry tree, and you have to remove it yourself.
That second time, when Mom died... I think that was gonna happen anyway, and the permanent life sacrifice on my end was simply that I'd have to take care of Dad in the aftermath... and his house and yard... which has cut off a lot of other paths I may have taken.
I would say, generally, junebug luck is a better deal than... like... selling your soul to Evil.
You do always end up in a better spot, and you can always afford the payments on junebug luck, without damning your soul... but the luck only tends to last about 14 years. So, if you're living in uncertain times, which we are, then you'll probably have to go back for more.
--<>--
I do not know what happens if you ask for junebug luck when you don't really need it... but I would assume it's NOT good!
And I also don't know what happens if you try to outsmart it... or use some other magical luck to try and dodge the payments?... but, again, I'd assume it's NOT good!
°¦}
https://soundcloud.com/snoozefestaudio
I stopped at a Walgreens, on the way home, to get cat food... a new Wallgreens I've never been to before. And as I got out of the car I noticed little gold leaves all over the ground. Locust leaves, from locust trees around the perimeter of the lot, which had begun to turn.
And as I watched the little gold leaves blow across the lot in the cool autumn breeze, I realized this was the first stop after work to grab cat food that I'd done since June of 2020... and thought about how much had happened since then... and how I never imagined I'd be doing this again so soon!
But here I was, creating this fall 2022 memory, walking away from a new car, on the way home from a new job, walking into a new Walgreens, to get food for my new cats!
After living off my 401K through 2021, all I knew in January of this year was... the money's running out at the end of May. And I could not see further than the end of May. I didn't dare think about October!
I was ready to start my handiman business as soon as the snow melted, and I hoped it would work out, but it was a gamble.
I figured I might have to get a part time job to suplement the income, but I definitely didn't plan on trading in my little red Yaris for something else, and there was no way I was gonna adopt any cats for another few years.
You mostly know the story about how I got from there to here.
And you know I've attributed a lot of the crazy steps along the way to the universe just fucking with me this year.
But it didn't strike me until last night, when I got that check for $230.00 out of nowhere in the mail... that this WASN'T just the universe fucking with me.
I'd forgotten that back in early May... right around when that money was running out, and things weren't looking too good for the business... I found a junebug clinging to the screen of my front door, and gave it's wings a rub!
The superstition that Junebugs are lucky, is one I made up myself many years ago.
The, "logic," behind it, is that Junebugs, which are beetles, are in the family, Scarabaeidae... or in other words, they're scarab beetles.
And to the ancient Egyptians, scarab beetles were symbols of Re, the sun god, and considered to be powerful talismans.
The first time I ever decided to rub the wing cases of some junebugs clinging to my front door screen, was back in June of 2006... when I was working the apartment maintenance job, and living with Patti and the four cats.
I was at my wits end with that $9.00 per hour job, and our relationship was on the rocks because we had no money, and we had too many cats. I felt trapped and depressed, like I'd taken a very wrong turn in life and couldn't see a way forward.
I wished on the junebugs out of desperation. But things began to get crazy after that, and a year later... in June of 2007, when the junebugs returned, I realized everything had changed!
It had not been a fun, or happy change... it was insanely chaotic change... but now that it was over... my life was back on track!
That chaos began with me quitting the maintenance job... then Patti's Dad managed to get me into a janitor gig where he worked a few months later. And that should've saved everything, because it paid so much more... but then Patti freaked out because I was working second shift, which meant she'd never see me!..
And the drama just kept escalating until we broke up!.. but I hung on to the job anyway, and managed to hang on to the apartment, and take care of the four cats, all by myself... and like... lost 40 pounds that spring!
So, when the Junebugs returned in 2007, I was single and skinny, with a good job... had everything under control... and was happy and had a good future!
But I recognized that Junebug magic is not something to mess around with!
When you come to the Junebugs for help... they will help you... but they will do it THEIR way!.. and it will be chaotic!.. and you will pay some kind of price!
The big price I paid that time was losing Patti... which wasn't just losing another girlfriend. It was the END of girlfriends!
I haven't been on so much as a date since she left me... sixteen years ago!
But that leads us to the SECOND time, I dared, to ask the Junebugs for help!
For six Junes, I left the junebugs on my front screen door alone. Didn't want to take a chance, because life was going well enough.
I'd advanced from Janitor, at the job they'd gotten me, to maintenance. I was back down to my original two cats. And I'd finally graduated to day shift, after working night shift for six years.
But in 2013, I decided to chance it. I rubbed the wing cases of a junebug... because I'd been lonely, after six years, and wanted another shot at a girlfriend.
And money had been so tight for so long... and a second income would help with that.
If I could just find a woman who wanted to move in with me, in this flat I'd been holding down... so we could combine our resources and make a better...
Almost immediately... one month later, my Mom fell ill and went into a rehab center for prolonged care. And at the same time, I was overdrafting at the bank, and barely able to pay the rent anymore... which had been creeping up faster than my raises at work.
The no brainer solution was just to move back home... as my lease would be up at the end of August anyway.
It was possible now, with only the two aging cats... rather than the four younger cats of earlier years.
It was a big change! I'd lived at that flat for 12 years by that point. And I knew, moving back with the parents would be the nail in the coffin for finding a new girlfriend, but it would mean a lot more disposeable cash every month!
The transition was a bit chaotic, but before I settled in, Mom up and died!
Nobody thought she was gonna go so fast, and it was a huge deal trying to get the whole family back for the funeral, which ended up being in the middle of February, during a deep freeze.
Like the first time around with the junebugs, I got a solution... but not the one I was picturing! And I got it only after a big chaotic transition... and this time, around, lost my Mom!
After that, I was ALL DONE wishing on Junebugs.
They returned every year, like they do, from 2014, all the way through 2021. And every year, I left them alone.
2020 was a memorable June, because not only was the pandemic raging, but the Black Lives Matter protests were sweeping the nation. I'd already watched my boss and dozens of others get fired the year before, and Dad had already survived a bout with bladder cancer the year before as well.
And as I was out there on the side porch, running new electrical for lights, they would buzz and bump around me... as if checking in, like, "Hey!.. ready for a magical recharge yet?"
"Nope! Everything's fine, junebugs! Thanks for asking."
One actually bumped my arm, and I was like, "That doesn't count!"
The next June, 2021, I had finally lost that job, and had no clear idea what I was gonna do once my money ran out... but when they came to visit me again on that side porch... as I painted it this time around... again... I told them everything was fine!
But by May of this year, I did...
I forgot, because we didn't have many of them this spring, but I did...
When I saw one hanging on the screen door of that side porch one night, I did rub it's wing cases.
I didn't picture anything, or wish for anything. I just did it like, "help!"
And then I went back to worrying about things as normal.
So, this blog tells you how things went after that, starting in June.
Just kind of starving... and reading... and building weird contraptions out of balloons, old keys & twine, wooden spools & chicken wire... transplanting seedlings and taking long walks at night to record Katydid's in a forgotten corner of an island block.
And I guess maybe the Junebugs had a look at that... they had a little conference to review my file.
They said, "Well... he made quite a go with the luck that we gave him for quite a long time. And he does seem more humble than in years past. So... maybe we can go a bit easier on him this time."
So they gave me Snoop & Prowly, which forced me to look for a job right away, and they let me get the job I wanted a day later.
But... "Okay, chaos! What's he in for?.. Erm... give him a snag in starting the job and... Oh!.. send his Dad to the hospital, definitely!"
"Should we kill his dad?"
"Um... I dunno if we need to go THAT hard, this time..."
"What then, shall be the life tribute?"
"Erm... how 'bout we knock down a tree?.. This one back here's got some sentimental value, and... it's also been a big source of concern that he doesn't want to deal with right now so..."
"So be it! Kill the tree, and make him cut it up all by himself!"
So, they rolled that all out... but then some junebug case worker, after the fact, looking it over was like, "He seems to have satisfied all the terms of the luck loan, but... he actually qualifies for a small rebate, because he's living in a metaphysical hole that blocks good thunderstorms."
"Okay, well... shoot him a check for 230.00. Make it look like... it had something to do with his old job that we got him in the 2000s."
Junebug luck is neither good, nor bad luck but chaotic luck. And the level of chaos depends on the jam you're looking to get out of... how much of it was your fault... and how humble you are when you go to them.
It's good luck in the sense that, it is a good defense against the ways that the universe and history tend to fuck with your life.
But you do always pay for junebug luck, not only through chaos, but also a mix of humility and responsibility... because you don't get the life you wanted, but the one they decided was best... and you always also pay some kind permanent life sacrifice.
So for me, the first time, it was no more girlfriends ever again. This third time, it was... no more Mulberry tree, and you have to remove it yourself.
That second time, when Mom died... I think that was gonna happen anyway, and the permanent life sacrifice on my end was simply that I'd have to take care of Dad in the aftermath... and his house and yard... which has cut off a lot of other paths I may have taken.
I would say, generally, junebug luck is a better deal than... like... selling your soul to Evil.
You do always end up in a better spot, and you can always afford the payments on junebug luck, without damning your soul... but the luck only tends to last about 14 years. So, if you're living in uncertain times, which we are, then you'll probably have to go back for more.
I do not know what happens if you ask for junebug luck when you don't really need it... but I would assume it's NOT good!
And I also don't know what happens if you try to outsmart it... or use some other magical luck to try and dodge the payments?... but, again, I'd assume it's NOT good!
°¦}
