Finally Fall!
Monday, September 23rd, 2024 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozefestaudio |
62F and cloudy tonight.
I survived the final two days of 90F and full sun; Friday and Saturday, and as predicted, Sunday was gloriously cool and cloudy with sporadic rain!
Sunday, of course, was also the autumnal equinox, so it's not only officially fall now, but it feels like it!
Forecast is calling for 70s as far as it can project... to October 7th, with a couple days only hitting the high 60s F... and there's still plenty of clouds and rain in store between now and next Monday.
This means I can finally get back to recording vocals for the album, starting this weekend.
Driving home tonight, I was thinking how I was all ready to start recording vocals at the end of April... and was even testing out Distro Kid for getting my stuff to the streaming services.
So, the foreclosure wound up putting that on hold for nearly five months!
I should've been done with it by now!
Because BMO never should've forclosed on a 2nd mortgage of only 13K.
Because they forgave that 13K when the house sold to Torres!
Like... WHY?
Most of the songs on this album were written before Sean Diddy Combs released his first recording in 1996.
So, it's weird to think that some guy... only four months younger than me... had an entire career, rose to mega stardom, killed two other rappers, destroyed hundreds of lives, and finally wound up in prison... in the time it took me to record these songs... and they're not done yet!
I guess it's a good thing I never made it anywhere in the entertainment biz, because apparently, all that happens to you, if you do... is that you take a million drugs and engage in a bunch of criminal sex acts, while on those drugs, and then hide from the cops the rest of your life.
The day Combs was put in jail without bond... essentially everybody from the 1990s erased their twitter accounts!
And like, half the CEOs on the planet resigned!
Because they'd all been to one of his parties!
Any party I was ever at... if the cops got wind of it... they came and told everybody to quiet down!
Maybe somebody got arrested for weed?
Like... if you throw a party that the FEDS can lock you up for... years after the fact?.. well, you got carried away with the idea of being the perfect host!
Because apparently, anybody in the entertainment biz will tell you... it's not a party worth going to unless there are underage women being drugged with memory-erasing substances!.. and like... a guy walking an endangered Tiger on a leash that he got from a poacher on the black market!
So I guess I'm glad that the world was like, No Pat!.. you can't go into that life, or you'll get sucked into all kinds of debauchery, and lose your mind!.. and lose your soul!.. and either die of an overdose, or wind up in prison! Nooo, Pat!.. not YOU!
And I'm like, Okay, well what did you have planned for me then?
Ummm... well, for one, you could look after your Dad here! That would be noble!
Okay!... then, after he's enjoyed his final years in comfort and safety, and dies of old age, in his own bed, surrounded by loving family... I'll inherit his modest little house and fix it up right?
What?
You know... plant a tree... walk the dog...
What? Ermm... NOOO!
On the opposite side of the block from that house, is where South Avenue dead ends.
And on our side of the block, there's this wide patch of gravel, between two houses, that is in-line with South Avenue... that the two neighbors now use as their joint, very wide driveway.
Old maps of the city show South Avenue connecting through to Jackson Street there.
That project was started... over 100 years ago... but for whatever reason it was delayed.
And I have to think it's still on the books as, "on hold," because gravel driveways have been forbidden by the city for over 20 years!
In other words... that gravel patch can't be paved over because those two neighbors on either side, don't own it!
It still belongs to the city, so only they can pave it... but the last person in city government who remembered that that was true... died, like 70 years ago!
And I feel like my life is like that South Avenue project!
Like, there was some kind of plan, but... unexpected historic bullshit kept popping up to put that on hold... until the world just changed so much that it was completely forgotten!
The Silent Generation, and the Baby Boomers both came up in a world that worked for them... and it functioned far better than for any earlier generation!
And while Silents, and Boomers both saw a lot of history unfold in their day?.. none of that history threatened them, or changed the course of their lives!
Roe V Wade, for example... did not threaten their livelihoods, or change their lives in any way! It just made them upset, that women gained a basic right!
JFK's assasination... did not affect their livelihoods, or change the course of their lives. Nor did Nixon's resignation! These things just upset them, emotionally, and that was it!
But over my lifetime?...
Bush stealing the 2000 election lead to the Dot.Com bust which destroyed my career path, and it was followed immediately by 9/11, which ensured years of recession afterward.
Housing prices ballooned in 2006 and 07, destroying the relationship I was in, because we could't afford a house, with me working a shitty recession wage job.
The housing market then crashed, destroying countless lives of people my age.
And after that, was the banking collapse, that was bailed out by the Obama administration, but made getting loans a lot harder after that.
I slowly worked my way back up to where I'd been in 2000... making a living wage, at a steady job I hoped to retire at.
And it seemed like even Trump wasn't gonna threaten that... until a global pandemic hit, in an election year, leading to insane levels of political polarization and paranoia that did lead to me getting forced out of that job... right after the January 6th Capitol Riots!
And then Covid killed the economy, and in the after math, corporations began using it as the excuse to continue price gouging, and we've had runaway inflation!
And I was STILL, in a position to hang on to that house, except for some predatory loophole in Mom & Dad's 2013 HELOC that essentially said, We can steal this house in 2023, if we feel like it!
Dad got to live his whole life in the same house, and die peacefully, of old age, in his bedroom... because he was born into a world that worked for him... and it didn't start unraveling until he was so well established, he couldn't be touched.
He was lucky to have me at the end... but I was only there, because historic events had fucked all my chances at a career and marriage and a family in my 30s... and kept me down until Mom died...
At which point I had nothing better to do than move home!
But it wasn't all coincidence!
His generation, and the one after them, did everything in their power to safeguard their security, the only way they knew how!... by fucking the future!
Mom & Dad's HELOC was no different than global warming, in the sense that they saw how hard it would make life for whichever kid they roped into moving back to take care of them in their old age... and they said, "Fuck it!.. We'll be dead by 2023!"
All the other historic calamities I've listed here, were caused by Silents, and or Boomers, somewhere, saying, "Fuck it!"
Even Covid, they're fairly sure now... was the result of some lab scientists in China, getting careless with deadly viruses!
And the whole response to Covid here, from Silent's and Boomers, was more, "fuck it!" than anything we've seen in history!
And the rest of us have just had to run around, trying not to die, because of all their reckless disregard for the whole world and the future!
As for all the 90s celebrities scrambling for cover after one of their many party hosts finally got made... they were, in the entertainment world, that final generation, for who the system worked.
They all made it, just before the internet really got going!
The internet posed a huge threat to that whole machine.
But in the end it was untalented rich people who said, this is our chance! and flooded both that machine, and the internet, with nepo-babies!
This is our time to shine!.. Our kids will not only be the stars, but also the writers, and directors, CEOs, and everything!
And they're soo bad at it!
But this is why the only scandal you can get in 2024, about a musical artist who took it all too far and went to prison... is about a 54 year old artist... who peaked 20 years ago!
You can't even name a contemporary artist who is anywhere near Sean Combs' level of fame, or that of any of Sean's 1990s peers.
Because that whole machine broke down a long time ago!
There ARE artists out there today, who are brilliant and charismatic, and all the rest!... but you'll never know their names, because it went from gate-keeping, to... the gates are permanently closed, to... everything inside the gates is imploding into a fiery rubble now.
I mean, like what is even the point of erasing your Twitter account, when Twitter itself already died a couple years ago?
It's like earasing your MySpace account! Who cares?
It's X now... Elon Musk flushed it all down the toilet!
But if you're a 90s celebrity... you still barely understand what the internet is, or how to use a smart phone, so Twitter is still this cutting edge tech that you can barely grasp!
They still don't know that BlockBuster folded, because they bought a copy of every VHS tape in existence, right after getting rich, and still watch them on their golden VCR machines that were built to withstand a nuclear attack!
I guess the through line here tonight is that after WW2, the Greatest Generation took great pains to fix the world, such that no future generation would ever have to suffer the hardships, or see the horrors that they, and their predecessors had lived through.
And they did a great job of that!.. but it was meant to be maintained by future generations, and to change with the times!
Civil rights were supposed to expand!
The middle class was supposed to expand to include minorities.
And on, and on.
But instead, what happened was... two generations, and a lucky few from the third, got super spoiled by the system they'd inherited... and... fucked it all up!
Because spoiled people have no sympathy for those who are not spoiled... thinking, It was easy for me!.. so if it's not easy for them, it's because they're either stupid, or bad!
And that becomes the justification for everything!
Sex trafficking and sexual assault?... no!.. Look!.. these girls we drugged were stupid, for starters, and they were also bad!
Same for my HELOC.
If you didn't know you were going to owe us a balloon of 13K.. well, you're stupid! And if you can't pay it... that makes you bad!
I feel like them forcing me out of my home was bad... and that failing to even get their 13K out of it was stupid... but fuck me!
It's just a bunch of deaf and blind idiots with too much privilege, steam rolling over everything, with no clue that it's causing any damage... cuz they don't feel it.
And the rest of us just get to deal!
Was the South Avenue project killed by that kind of bullshit, or was it just a thing that got tied up in some red tape and forgotten?
I dunno!
But that vestigial gravel patch remains.
And I think, whenever history steamrolls over a good idea that was in the works... it does leave behind these orphaned remnants of what could've been.
I know I'm not alone, in saying that my life is nothing but... a scrap book of these unfinished pathways, and unrealized ideas... cut short by external bullshit!
But I'm still alive.
And this is fall.
So I'm gonna dust myself off again!.. and head into this fabulous season of cool, cloudy weather, and long nights... and I'm gonna see if I can't see one of these stupid things to fruition!
°¦}
