Wait!.. What If?..
Wednesday, July 10th, 2024 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozefestaudio |
72F and partly cloudy this morning.
Still surprised how well I can sleep on that twin bed!
I got an email this morning from Title addressed to all parties that the city transfer document was sent this morning... and then a second email addressed just to me;
I did send in the SOA document but if you would like I can get your closing rescheduled at a time that is convenient for you. The buyer will sign in 5 days but you can sign at any time. Let me know a time and place and I will have a notary come to you for signatures. I can request a seller side settlement statement now but those figures may change based on closing date and the results from the SOA-they check past due water bills.
Let me know if you want to schedule now or wait until we have the results from the SOA.
So I've rescheduled the signing for Friday, here, at 11:30AM.
But the actual closing may not be until Wednesday or Thursday.
I did stop at the house on the way to work and left more food for Prowly.
But Mr. Taylor called me right before I left for work, and we chatted for a bit.
I asked him about what happens after closing... thinking about Prowly... and he said they're gonna do an eight to ten week flip!
After that it goes on the market, but he doesn't expect it to sell until December, because of the election.
So... he did say, "flip," and I'm not sure what that means, but he said eight weeks is considered extremely long in his business, and Melody Manor could take ten.
But this was the first confirmation I had that nobody has dibs on the house yet. It's just going on the market like normal.
But ten weeks from closing is the end of September!
And by then, it's possible I could be making a much higher wage... with two paycheck stubs reflecting that!
So... What if I COULD buy the house back this year?
The idea didn't dawn on me until a few hours into the shift today.
But as soon as it did... all my grief and anxiety immediately lifted, and I suddenly felt happy again, like I haven't since November of 2023, when I still thought the refinance was gonna save the day.
So, if this is wishful thinking, I don't care!.. because it's giving me respit from some great sadness over losing that life I wanted and worked so hard for... with the dog/cat walks and the oak tree in the back yard, and all of that.
But it might not be wishful thinking!
In the scenario where the rumors are true, and we get bumped up to $30.00 an hour... I just might be able to swing a first time home-buyer FHA loan to get the house back!
The 5K that Taylor's giving me is gonna allow me to stay straight with PNC for a while, as well as all the other credit cards.
And selling the house to him stops the foreclosure. It won't go on record as a foreclosure. And Mom & Dad's two mortgages also will never have been in my name!
So, again...
- $30.00 per hour.
- No bankruptcy, but rather in good standing with my debts.
- No foreclosure, and no ownership of Mom & Dad's old debts.
- Buyers also wary because of he election, meaning mortgage agents are extra motivated to make it work!
I mean, in that scenario... I think I'd stand a real chance!
My grief right now is not just about abandoning Prowly.
That's only the most emergent source of sadness.
But it's also the flashbacks, that get triggered by almost anything right now.
Here's an example... the word, "Sol," came up in passing today, in something I was looking at on my phone.
And I instantly remembered the stretches of sidewalk where Yvette and I used to walk, that were stamped with the logo of the contractor, "El Sol Concrete", with a sunburst.
I saw that almost every day for six and a half years, walking her!
And then thoughts of walking her immediately lead to memories of all the late night walks after work at Cloud, where Prowly would come out of nowhere to join us... or even Snoop and Prowly both!
And those memories lead to ones of all three of them eating together in the kitchen, and me always saying aloud, "I love to see everybody eating together!"
We were a team and a family and I was moving mountains to landscape that yard... fix those windows... paint... decorate... and just make that place a real home!
Planting Natalie was one of the happiest days of my life... out there with Yvette and the cats... looking forward to watching her grow into a tall oak tree with acorns and squirrels.
The bats in the back yard, after I had the trees cut down!
The memories are endless, and I'm not even touching on all the memories there when Dad was still alive... and I was already working on the place to make it nicer.
All those flashbacks make me extremely sad right now... and I've been crying on and off for months now... first worrying about losing all that... then slowly watching it all go away!
Snoop first... then Yvette... then I'm in this tiny studio... soon I'll lose all touch with Prowly.
No companionship or purpose in life.
And all of it lost so needlessly and senselessly! because of a couple lines in a contract my parents signed 11 years ago... that some bitch at the bank then lied about to us in 2022!
I was paying that mortgage!..
I qualified for that refinance!
I hired lawyers!
I got that promotion at work!
This is NOT fair!.. and it should NOT have ended like it's ending!
However...
If you take that WHOLE drama... and you end it with... me buying the house back at the end of this year?
Suddenly it's a perfect and beautiful story and everything makes sense!
In the hindsight of history, it'd be this crazy tale about how after Mike's death, Pat was put in check by Mike & Barb's bank over a loophole in the mortgage.
And after trying everything else, what he did was... he sold the house to a flipper and went to live in a tiny studio apartment for four months, while they flipped it for him... and then he bought it back!
And his cat, Prowly was waiting for him when he moved back in at the end of October.
And BMO was out of the picture forever.
And they did watch Natalie grow up... and they did burn acorns in the firepit... and he did rent out the upstairs to his niece, and she did look after his new dog.
And Snoop did come back, and adopted Wendy.
I'm not saying this is what the cosmos preordained... or thinking it has to happen this way or I'll jump out the 19th story stairwell window of the tower.
But between now and September 1st... and depending on what happens with the union... this resolution is legitimately possible!
There is still HOPE... I could turn this all around!
And that hope, is what I need right now to settle the demons down, so I can be happy in the moment again, like I used to be!
So I'm gonna cling to that hope as I go feed Prowly every day for the next week, and I'm gonna not look at that house as a sad cursed thing I'm losing... but as a thing I may potentially get back... all fixed up!.. with no more BMO in the picture!
If it were to go the way of my hopeful scenario, then from Prowly's perspective... I will have left food for him right up until the day the loud men came in and started banging and pounding on everything inside and outside the house for 75 days in the summer.
And then in the fall I will have showed back up with all the shit, moved back in, and reinstalled his cat door!
And the place would be nicer, and he'd be like, Oh! I guess we both had to get out of here for the summer so those guys could fix it up. I get it now. That wasn't so bad. I had plenty of mice to eat while he was away. I knew he couldn't have gone that far!
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