Prowly Chose Freedom
Monday, July 8th, 2024 11:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozefestaudio |
79F and cloudy this morning... on it's way up to 82F.
I got an email this morning requesting me to schedule the closing of the house sale either tomorrow or Wednesday.
I haven't responded to it yet.
I'm gonna wait until I'm more awake.
I guess I'll try to push it off to Thursday?
I need time to try and get Prowly.
But it'd also be nice to get that 3K into the bank... that's rent for three months!
The closing will be Wednesday.
A mobile notary is gonna meet me at the tower for me to sign the papers, and Mr Taylor will also be signing that day remotely.
He told me today, I'm getting $5,000.00 out of it!
That's $2,000.00 more than o asked for!
He's sending me a lock box to put the keys in... with a code by which their people can access them.
I'm here at the house after work, waiting for prowly to come in.
The plan is to take him over tonight and then take him to get fixed tomorrow morning and call off work.
I saw him this morning again when I came here to leave food, and he seemed like he was finally a bit worried about where the hell I've been.
That stuck with me all day at work... hence this plan.
Okay, in a nutshell, around 11:35PM, Prowly did come in to eat, and I gave him moist food and dry food, and at first he was acting normal, but then he seemd to know something was off.
So I tried to quickly just get him into the cat carrier, but he got away from me before I could get the cover over him.
He ran for the stairs, but I'd closed the door to the upstairs... he ran for the music room, but that was closed too... then he ran to get out the cat door downstairs and it was also closed... because I had set it to be, entrance only.
And his plaintive meows at that cat door... not being able to get back out... are what finally made me know... I couldn't bring him here.
I reset the door to normal in and out swing, and he leapt back outside.
I had long pictured a scene where I was moving and he couldn't get back IN.. and was upset to see me go, but also had no access to the house.
In the end, it was the opposite... that we got to a moment where I'd trapped him inside, to take him with me, and he was super upset he couldn't get OUT!
And I just knew in that moment, that his territory out there in the neighborhood, and the free roaming life he has in it... mean more to him than anything.
So he's free... and he still has access to the house and the upstairs for another night and day... but after that, he's on his own.
When I got back here to the flat... I mean, I'm okay with how small it is, but... no!.. Prowly was never gonna be okay with being confined to this studio... even fixed!
Not after having the free run of several square blocks of territory for well over a year!
He's two... which, according to Google's AI, is the equivalent of 24.
And I know, I wouldn't have wanted to give up the kind of freedom he has, at 24!
I mean... I had these daydreams the past few weeks about him being happy here, after being fixed, and going for walks with me, wearing a harness.
But after our encounter tonight, I realize that was (or would've been)... trying to turn him into a cat he's not!
I made my best efforts to work it out.
I came up with a plan, and after the move, slept at the house two more nights...
Morning seemed like the best time to grab him.
Last Wednesday morning was the only good chance, but he didn't show.
Thursday was the holiday.
The clinic's not open Friday through Sunday.
Today, Monday, I had to report to work, after a week off.
And then I made this plan for tonight!
And while I was waiting for him at the house, I was thinking maybe I could get him tomorrow in the late morning, and call in to work two days in a row... one day to hang with him here, and then a second day for the clinic.
But what if he wasn't around tomorrow around 11 or 12:00?
Should I try again tomorrow night?
It was a whole thing going on in my head!
So, it was good that he DID show tonight... and I DID get to see for certain... No!.. he wants his freedom!
He wasn't hissing or spitting at all at me in this encounter either!
He was cool... then a little suspicious of my intentions... then just sincerely begging to get back out!
And I let him go!
He chose freedom, and I respected his wishes.
It's heartbreaking... as this whole foreclosure has been, since Snoop left... but I feel I do now know for certain that Prowly would rather take his chances out there without me, in the neighborhood he loves and understands... his home before I took him in... than come to some tiny studio apartment with me and go for walks downtown on a leash.
But I also think, because of tonights final encounter... Prowly will understand that I did want to, and try to bring him to the place I went... before I finally disappeared from his scene.
He may never understand why I had to go, and why the house got taken over by a bunch of construction workers... and then a new family.
But he'll understand that... first Yvette went away... then the place began to empty out... then I came around less and less, and stopped sleeping there... and then... just before I also disappeared for good... I did try to put him in the cat carrier, and take him with me.
Wednesday morning, a mobile notary will meet me here at the tower to sign the papers, and Mr. Taylor will also sign remotely, from his office, the same day.
He told me today, I'll be getting $5,000.00!.. which is $2,000.00 more than I asked for!
And that should be in my bank account by Thursday or Friday!
So... I'll be fine until September, when I know whether or not we're getting that raise.
Prowly has moist food on the table for tomorrow, and enough dry food sitting out to take him a bit further.
So I will not be going back to that house tomorrow morning or night... or possibly ever again, except to put the lock box with the house keys on the door, Wednesday or Thursday.
It's been hard enough going back there the past few days, and tonight!
I need to cut ties and move on!
But after my meditations, waiting for Prowly tonight... I am now resolved to start over with a new cat here... if and when my financial situation stabilizes.
That 5K will be a nice final cushion, but without a raise in September, I'm gonna have to deal with that PNC debt... either by ducking it, or declaring bankruptcy.
And either option will kill my credit score for a few years... which makes it harder to either pay for car repairs, when they come up... or get a different car with a low payment.
And of course, without a car... there goes the job!
So... it would be unwise to run out and get a new cat next week!
But if things are looking good in September, then yes, I will adopt a kitten!
It would be a male cat, because fixing them is outpatient surgery with quick recovery time... and fixed males tend to be more affectionate.
And then yes, I would train that cat to go for walks downtown here, on a leash.
I don't want to... if I don't have to... go back to total solitude, after 23 years of pet ownership, with eight years taking care of the old man.
It's not just about the companionship, but also the caring for another soul, and the being needed.
That's something that, once you get used to it... is hard to live without... as it turns out.
But I do have to spend at least the summer all on my own.
And maybe that's for the best... with so much heartbreak to process.
I'd call it grief, but as i've said before, everybody involved is alive and well, including the house, which has a new lease on life!
It's just a big giant break up, with a house, two cats, a dog, and an oak sapling.
And that's A LOT!.. to deal with all at once, believe me!
Today at work, I was having flashbacks to working at Cloud!.. which was not long ago!.. and for most of my stay there, it was... the house, two cats, a dog, and an oak sapling... with confidence I'd prevail against BMO, and hold on to all that forever.
And I've been having different flashbacks all week!
This whole drama, has been like surviving two hurricanes, a year apart.
Dad's death was the first, and the foreclosure was the second.
We all made it through the first hurricane together... and we did all survive the second hurricane too!.. but we're not together anymore... and won't ever be again.
I saved Yvette, and the house.
And both Snoop & Prowly are still free and can take care of themselves.
I'm safe for the moment too.
And it did strike me tonight, after getting back, how comfortable I'm getting with this place.
I need the experience tomorrow, of leaving here for work, and returning to here afterward, WITHOUT stopping at the house!
That damn old empty haunted house!
I wish it well, but with all the memories, good & bad, from childhood up until last week?.. I just cannot bear to be near it!
The proper goodbye to that place was last October's reunion.
And yeah... after they fix it up, and if I'm doing good, I might buy it back maybe!
But we're talking about 2030, and that's a completely different chapter that the one I'm starting now!
But after today... this chapter's finally got some direction.
House closes on Wednesday.
I get 5K.
Prowly chose freedom.
Job at Potawatomi's secure.
I'm settled into the new flat.
Let's go!
°¦}
