Foreclosure: Day 3
Wednesday, January 31st, 2024 12:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
snoozefestaudio |
37F and overcast this afternoon, with garbage trucks roaming the neighborhood.
A lot has happened since yesterday, and nothing has happened.
I had the idea last night that maybe I could pay off this damn balloon with my AMEX card, which does still have 14K in available credit.
So today I finally got hold of Cheryl, with the law firm, who is just kind of a receptionist for the foreclosure division, but she gave me her email address and said she'd pass along anything I sent her.
So I sent her a request for a payoff demand... basically asking what the final payoff amount would be, what forms of payment they'll accept, and what the time line would be.
I also included all the relevant information such as the loan number, house address, and the names of myself and my parents.
I'll now have to wait for that email to get to somebody who can send me back that information.
I also found out that the balloon went into foreclosure on January 3rd... the first business day of the year!
So, I really would've had to call BMO after Christmas, but before New Year, if I was going to forestall that.
And of course, I was not in the mind to do that between the holidays, because I was still reeling from the financing being torpedoed right before Christmas.
My printer ink was on the stoop last night when I got home, so today I have printed out the loss mitigation application form, but I haven't yet filled it out.
I also called AmEx to find out what my options were, and I can only do $3,200.00 max cash advance... if I enroll in the cash advance program.
There is no other way to move that available credit elsewhere... such as wiring it into an account, or getting a checkbook to draft a check or anything.
So if the law firm does not accept a straight up credit card payment... which they may not... then the AmEX will not save the situation.
And whether that's good or bad is kind of a wash.
If I were able to pay this off with AmEx, then I'd have eliminated the threat of foreclosure... but also maxed out the card I'm relying on to keep the utilities going.
So... no sheriff at the door, but also no electric, gas or water.
Which is worse?
As for the GoFundMe, I didn't start on that last night, because I was thinking I could pay this off with AmEx.
I may still go this route, once I know more. But the fact is that raising 14K is a tall order.
Still, for no cost, I could put together a pretty good video presentation about the situation, focusing on the history of the house, with photos used in the house history project... and also TikTok footage of me working on it, while Dad was still alive... etc.
And I could even create my own music for such a video, in the studio.
So... it's the middle of week one here, and and email was sent, a form was printed up, and I'm still getting my head around the magnitude of this problem, and my possible options.
Tomorrow is February 1st, so I'll have to deal with bills in the morning.
Hopefully by Friday, I'll have a better picture of all of this.
I spent the entire shift tonight thinking about how a GoFundMe video would be if I did it in the style of, Over Simplified, a YouTube channel that tells grim stories from history with a lot of humor and stick figures.
The idea would be that if it's entertaining enough, it could get more traction and therefore, more donations.
But writing that script in my head, and picturing the illustrations was unfortunately forcing me to re-live a lot of recent trauma that... obviously... still has not been resolved.
So I drove home feeling emotionally exhausted... and also very certain that none of this is going to work, and I'm going to lose the house, and my beloved Yvette, Snoop & Prowly will all be cast to the winds of despair, as will I...
And I will die under a bridge in the cold, heartbroken and homeless.
One of the reasons I'm losing hope is because none of this has been fair.
But it doesn't help that both Sheila and Tim have turned on me recently.
Sheila still can't accept that the mortgage is truly in foreclosure... because it's against her religion for bad things to happen.
So she's actually angry at me right now, and is looking for reasons to blame me for this foreclosure.
She jumped to the conclusion on Tuesday that I must've stopped paying the main mortgage... which is absolutely not true.
She wants this to be about me being either irresponsible... or just too damn pessimistic.
But either way, in her mind, it's now my fault.
And she's angry at me for bringing negative vibes into her world.
Meanwhile, Tim is still on his Free Palestine kick.
And when I told him I can't give a shit about goddam Palestine right now, because my life is falling apart... he, upon his moral high horse, became downright contemptuous.
He's done TikToks, directed at me, saying that unlike some people he can, "walk and chew gum at the same time"... meaning he can have personal struggles and still care about the plight of Palestine.
And on the chats, drunk, he's taken the attitude that he faces little financial problems like this all the time, so I'm being a coward who can't face the paper tiger of little BMO Bank, and also can't care about the poor innocent Palestinians being slaughtered in their thousands by the "Zionists" who are literal Nazi's in disguise... running world politics secretly.
In reality, what's he's doing is kicking me while I'm down.
And he's only doing it because being an anti-zionist zealot on TikTok is getting him views, and feeding his ego... which has always been centered around a need to be viewed as a moral authority, by those around him.
He doesn't actually care about them any more than the blood brother he's kicking in the gut while I'm facing a catastrophic loss.
But I've known for many years, that when you are in a little trouble, people will sympathize... but when you are in a lot... it's easier for them to hate you.
A similar phenomenon is how, when people fall in love with old seniors who have been either their neighbors, or customers for a lifetime... when those seniors die...
YOU... their stupid, ugly, middle aged child... are to blame for it, and they hate you, and you will NEVER replace them in their hearts!
I also got the hate while Dad was still alive, at my old job.
Why are you bending over backward for some old man with one foot in the grave? Put him in a nursing home and look out for yourself, idiot!
You use your aging dad as the excuse for everything!
I lost my old job because I was too loyal to him, and my duty to keep him safe and comfortable in his old age.
But now his bank sees me as a pretender to his throne, who just showed up out of nowhere to steal his house, because I'm a low life predator.
Mike & Barb would agree with them!.. kick the bum out!.. settle the debt by auctioning their house as God intended!
Kevin has actually been on my side this week... finally concerned that this situation is serious, and trying to give any advice that he can, as a loan officer himself.
But he's not talking to Sheila, and telling her, yes this is serious and it's not his fault he's in this bind.
And nobody's talking to Tim and saying, Ya should kinda lay off the attacks on Pat right now, when he's done nothing to you.
And I'm not faulting Kevin or or Colleen or Brian for that.
I'm just pointing out that there is no collective brainstorming going on with this situation... the way there was for Dad's death.
And I've said many times over the past year that the real benefit of having five siblings IS the brainstorming.
It's not about financial aid, or the single stream of advice from one person or the other.
It's having six brains working on the same problem... which can be invaluable.
But the six of us are quite different in personality and temperment, so it takes a lot of energy to get everybody on the same page for any length of time.
And all of them have already been exhausted by Dad's death... and just want to be living their normal lives again.
So, that brainstorming isn't going to happen this time around.
Instead, it's going to be in-fighting, and grudge holding, if I even dare say another word about the foreclosure.
This is one of those, gotta face it myself, problems.
But...
This one is too big for me to face myself.
BMO is a behemoth, and I'm a little nitwit, spiraling ever more rapidly into debt.
I really do feel like I'm about to lose everything... and that I'll be hated for it, when I do... and that I'll be so heartbroken about losing the pets... that I'll just die.
It's not a fun way to feel.
And I'm sure it'll be even less fun when it's a reality.
°¦}
